Two guys walk into a bar… ouch.
January 30, 2004
Episode 09? Zounds! Sam and Eric in the same episode? It’s a veritible dream team to kick off a series of episodes that’s going to see the return of some old friends.
By the way, you know how we have all those parental advisory logos around the site? It’s because of episodes like this one, so you might want to turn down the speakers.
It was a very exciting week at the Dead End Days global HQ as our heat went out over the weekend. But it will take more than a bleak, Jack London-esque existance to stop your dedicated D.E.D. post-production team from bringing you more goodness - no matter how cold it gets.
Incidentally, as a nod to all the heated political debate taking place on the forums, and a service to all our security-concious US fans, we’ve added the current Department of Homeland Security feed below:
Homeland Security Advisory Level:
Movies You Ought To Like Pt. 1
January 27, 2004
Hello everyone. Once again it is my turn to spice up this internet coffee shop we call Dead End Days. Now as the director of this illustrious project many of you might expect me to sit here and wax poetic about the rigors of making a no budget indie film series that heartily yet meagerly tries to reveal the world that lies behind the spider web of the shattered crystal shroud that blinds us from the truth blah, blah, blah. Fortunately for you, I’m not going there. Jay, Shane and now Rob have all painted an accurate picture of what our day to day is like (the glamour, the tantrums and so on). I thought it would be far more interesting for you, the loyal DED reader to discover some of the influences that have helped shape this big idea into the little film that it is. So I now unleash a string of essays outlining the films that have touched a place in my heart and soul and have ultimately gone on to make me the director that I am. These essays will be called:
MOVIES THAT YOU OUGHT TO LIKE (and if you don’t like them you suck) BY MATT HOOS
So without further ado I present to you…
YOUNG GUNS II
In 1988 Morgan Creek pictures released what could be seen as the return to the great American Western by finally committing to film the story of one of the worlds most notorious outlaws, Billy the Kid, in a movie called Young Guns. This film told the true story of a group of young men without homes who were taken in by the generous John Tunstall and given a place to work and learn on his farm. After their teacher and mentor was killed by a cattle baron by the name of Murphy, the young fellers were made deputies and were instructed to round up the Murphy boys (all the dudes who worked for Murphy). Well things got a little out of hand when one of the deputies by the name of William H Bonney starts going ape shit and killing everybody. He and his band of deputies (lead by the reluctant Charlie Sheen) become outlaws themselves and are henceforth known as “the young guns”. The whole thing ends in a big bloody gun battle where all but three people die. Now most would end the story here, but not the geniuses at Morgan Creek. See they didn’t tell the most important part of the story in the first film (where Billy the Kid gets chased down and killed by Pat Garrett) presumably so they still had something left to base a sequel on. The only problem with this plan was, that by all accounts, that particular part of the story was brief and fairly uninteresting. So what did they do? A thing of beauty: Make the first movie again - from another point of view! Brilliance! They dug up a story about some crack- pot who wandered out of the New Mexico desert in the 1950’s claiming to be a very-much-alive Billy the Kid and they told the whole sordid tale again from his particular viewpoint. The really beautiful part of this approach is that the “Billy the Kid” version of events was far more interesting than the original film, allowing the sequel the rare feat of surpassing its predecessor!
“So?” You say, “the movie still sucked.” But did it?
Lets run through the cast shall we: Emilio Estevez, Keifer Sutherland, Lou Diamond Phillips, Christian Slater, Balthazar Getty, a towering James Cobern and everybody’s favourite King of Gondor -Viggo Mortensen. Impressed yet? You know you are.
If you’re not sold on star-power alone, check out some of the choice dialogue; Lines like James Coburn’s “Billy the Kid, you think you know New Mexico, BY-GOD-I-AM-NEW-MEXICO!” Or how about this Keifer Sutherland Classic: “You rode a 15-year-old boy straight into his grave, and the rest of us straight to Hell…straight to Hell.” Finally there is the classic climactic exchange between Billy and Doc just before the big shoot out that goes:
Doc: William H Bonney, You…Are Not…A God!
Billy: Why don’t you pull the trigger and find out?
Gives you shivers Huh? Huh? You know it does.
If the stunning has-been cast, the sweeping vistas and the choice lines still haven’t sold you on the greatness of the fillm how about the soundtrack? THE SOUNDTRACK! 15 entire songs “inspired” by the movie and sung with passion by the one and only Jon Bon Jovi. Try as you might, you will never forget “Shot Down in a Blaze of Glory”.
[He's got a point, I've been trying to forget "Shot Down in a Blaze of Glory" for years to no avail... in fact, I'm humming it now -editor]
So there you have it three great reasons to run out to your nearest Monopoly Video and rent Young Guns II!
Just one more thing, this wouldn’t be much of a directors essay if I didn’t let you know a thing or two about the director of this early nineties slice of heaven. His name is Geoff Murphy, a New Zealand native who attacked Hollywood in the eighties with his little film “Goodbye Pork Pie”. He then went on to direct other classics such as “Freejack”, “Under Siege 2:Dark Territory” and everybody’s favourite Canadian Co-pro “Fortress II: Re-entry”. Well How do you top a resume like that? By getting a real job. In the year 2000 Geoff did what every New Zealander did, he went to work for Peter Jackson. Geoff was the Second Unit Director on all 3 Lord of the rings films. Awww, what a happy ending. I too can only hope to make one great but relentlessly mocked film, then a string of looser sequels (not counting the above-mentioned movie) only to have my dignity handed back to me on a billion-dollar silver platter by my best friend, Bradley can you hear me?
Peace.
Sam’s milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…
January 23, 2004
Yeah so a new episode. It’s nothing like a bellydancing robot inspired by Lucy Liu and lampreys, or a computer program that can recut popular songs to make them sing your lyrics (HINT: “Dead End Days” is in it’s vocabulary… be sure to e-mail me your creations at brad@deadenddays.com). It’s certainly not a bear that deficates prime numbers. But in these trying times until the Spirit Rover starts returning our collective phone calls, it’s what little light we can bring to the world.
Call home soon you crazy robot… we miss you.
And now for something completely different…
January 20, 2004
Rob Fox is, without question, one of the most protean members of Team:Dead End Days. He is not only our entire accounting department, but also our Transport Captain, most of the the grip department, a set photographer, post-production assistant, and invaluable sounding board. He makes his acting debut in episode 12… in a performance straight out of 8-mile. His alter ego FireFox has been known to rule over the forums with an iron fist. Despite the fame and glory that these myriad roles bestow upon him, one job has brought him more recognition than all the others combined: that of the boom guy.
In his free time he enjoys showing off his mad 1337 fps skilz, and puttering away on some kind of university degree nonsense. Whatever.
Why does he devote himself so selflessly to our cause? It is only because he’s both my brother and my roommate and, as such, had utterly no choice in the matter?
Yeah, pretty much.
As such, should one overlook his completely erroneous beliefs regarding the 2004 NHL collective bargaining agreement, few Dead End Days personnel have earned the right to vent on the front page more so than Rob. So why don’t we let him do just that, hmm?
A Small Treatise on Audio Recording Device Deployment in Film and Video Production.
January 20, 2004
When asked to write this production journal, I was at first wary. After
all, I wasn’t too sure about what I could write. While Shane and Jay have
written at length about their experiences in putting together an
independent film project, and Matt has contributed his intriguing list of
New Year’s resolutions, I myself couldn’t think of what to say. I mean, I
don’t carry the prestigious title of Director, or Writer, or even Actor…
no, I am simply the man in charge of administering the day to day
operation of the Dead End Days web forums. Well, that and…
And then it hit me. The answer to what to write about was staring me right
in the face. My secondary duty, which I hadn’t initially considered, was
where the real story was. For you see, in addition to my forum
administration duties, I am also the primary audio boom operator on the
Dead End Days production crew.
This may not sound terribly important to the novice film aficionado, but
that is likely due to his/her unfamiliarity with this vital role. The
biggest misconception I have heard to date is the suggestion that a boom
operator is simply “the guy who holds the pole that the microphone is
attached to.” While above being insulted by such comments, I still find it
somewhat obtuse that someone would suggest that the boom operator is
simply a role of brawn, stamina, and steely-cool temperament. These are
indeed qualities that any “boom op” (as us in the business refer to
ourselves) must possess. However, these misinformed individuals (rarely
having any formal fine arts training themselves) gravely ignore the true
core of the trade, which cannot be accounted for solely through hours in
the gym, laborious mental training and preparation, or even the gift of a
disposition as calm as an exceedingly calm body of water. In fact, what
separates a master boom operator from a mere journeyman is the ever-subtle
“boom sense” that can be traced to nothing other than pure, unadulterated
talent.
“What exactly is this boom sense?”, the aforementioned aficionado may ask,
after coming to the realization that he had previously been grossly
under-informed about the role. Boom sense is that intangible intuition
that guides the boom operator through those critical decisions that can
make or break not only the quality of the audio presentation, but the
entire artistic integrity of the production as a whole. The decision to
slowly and gradually swoop the directional mike towards an in-motion
character, rather than quickly jarring the microphone or (heaven forbid)
allowing the mike to stay stationary throughout an entire take, is
absolutely essential. A decided lack of boom sense by an operator will
manifest itself as an overtly substandard boom-op performance, which will
likely lead to an end product destined to be described by the
entertainment media as “lacking in vision”.
From an outside perspective, these seemingly small decisions may seem
rather unimportant. However, making wise decisions when presented with
auditory dilemmas such as abnormal ambient noise, or more than two
characters in conversation, can be the difference between a finished
product that moves it’s audience with the power of a hundred-foot tsunami,
and that which merely moves with the power of a major 60 foot tidal wave.
So in closing, while some may see boom operation duties as secondary to
those of, say, direction, cinematography, or acting, I would hope that
most fans of the great art of what the French call “fonctionnement d’une
perche de film” would have sufficient wisdom to realize that the role of
boom operator is the unseen glue which keeps any successful production
together, and prevents it from falling apart like a cheaply constructed
junior-high Social Studies diorama. For this is not what we, the creators
of Dead End Days, are trying to accomplish. We are demanding more of
ourselves and each other. We are, in a sense, reaching for that elusive
A-, not the B+ which is easily in the grasp of many lesser independent
film productions.
This is what defines us as artists.
Episode 7!
January 16, 2004
[Editors Note - Somewhere in the transition between the three servers, and dozens of versions of Wordpress that have powered this site, this post was completely transformed into gibberish. Given the quality of the writing from the period, this may be an improvement.]
And something had been in the works for a long time?
January 13, 2004
The truly disorienting thing about being an artist (insert groan here) for my money is the sheer disorientation. Potential projects swarm about, the buzz incessant, but God only knows when you’re about to be bitten. I love hearing how such and such has “a potential project” that’s “looking great” which I would “be really interested in.” There’s naught you can do but smile and nod - of course they do, and it is, and I would. There’s a beautiful quaintness to these proposals and their unbridled optimism. The passion and excitement of creating can infuse even the most dowdy of us with a cherubic glow. “I’ve got an idea!” we beam “And this time it’s gonna happen!”
I have done this. Countless times. Great ideas are like sex - they don’t happen very often, but when they do, you can’t help but be enthusiastic. Doesn’t mean you won’t get dumped, but it’s great while it lasts. I’ve done it. I’ve approached others prematurely and - going against my own ingrained superstitions - revealed my latest stroke of genius. They smile, they seem interested, they’re in, I think: This is happening!
Then, nothing.
That’s the trick, though. It’s the easiest thing in the world to get excited, inspire excitement in others. There are bottomless reservoirs of artistic passion, and the waves can overwhelm even the most firm and tautly secured individuals, but it don’t mean the darn thing is gonna come off, because that takes work. Lots of it. You’ve got to get organized. You’ve got to fill out forms. You’ve got to boss people around and be bossed around, make those people get things done and goddamnit: get things done yourself! It’s hard, hard, hard work. What was that they kept telling us black-clad, Nine-Inch-Nails-obsessed drama geek hoards in high school? Oh yeah: “If you can imagine yourself doing anything else (like, presumably, accounting) with your life, do it.”
Hands up if you thought they were kidding?
Yeah. Me too.
But now we’re stuck. We’ve got the bug. We’ve got the talent. We’ve got the friends with the bug and the talent. Best of all: We’ve got this potential project, it’s looking great, and we think you’d be really interested in coming on board.
It’s adorable really.
Now, I’m not trying to be cute or condescending (not right now, anyway). What I’m getting at is that nothing’s for sure. Only two percent (and I’m being generous) of all potential projects will ever come to fruition. That is, go up with people watching. Some people undoubtedly have better track records than that. Maybe a few are even batting, well, whatever a perfect batting average is. But for every time I’m told about that project that I’d be interested in - and I always remain interested until whatever it was evaporates - in the back of my head, I wonder what to invest. What hope to hold out. Because it so rarely, rarely happens. As much as we would want it to?
And so the fact this - this thing - is happening, that it’s here, that there are people watching, is a good sign.
I’m beating around the bush, but believe me - like most of the episodes posted so far, and for a few episodes to come - the set up will pay off. (At least that’s the idea.) I’m not totally talking out of my ass. What I will be laying down in this series of essays first off is a discussion of how this project came to be, and as I wind my way down that road - and there are no explosions or superfluous sex scenes to satiate the senses, in fact, it’s mostly people sitting around talking; not the easiest thing in the world to spice up - I want to establish the idea that what we (Matt, Brad, and I, this was the pre-Shaneian period) actually did - the instigation of our very own potential project - was no different, at the outset, than any other potential project.
At some point I’ll stop and ask: so why did this one happen? Maybe, hopefully, I’ll answer my own question. Was it the people? The process? The passion?
Are we lucky motherfuckers?
Yes to all of the above. And like I said before: Something had been in the works for a long time.
Episode 6!
January 9, 2004
Episode 6… who’d have thunk? Not only enriched with 97% of your daily requirement of vitamin Shane this episode contains a couple of nods to the two great “grand-daddies” of internet-based comics Penny-Arcade and PvP. Frankly, if you’re checking us out statistics would strongly suggest you likely are aware of both. They certainly don’t need any plugs from the likes of us. Instead I thought I’d mention a couple of new finds, I just started reading in 2003.
There is no reason not to be reading John Allison’s Scary Go Round. It makes reading fun! John’s unique art style and dry British wit make him a refreshing cocktail of entertainment! He’s just changed his style and started a new story so now is a great time to start!
Jeffrey Rowland’s Wigu is like a elementary school doodle gone horribly awry… in an “evil monkey who rides a pig” kind of way. Plus, since I have not mentioned it in the last 30 minutes… Sheriff Pony is the man.
You’re reading Bob The Angry Flower, right? Right? Good. I’m pretty sure keeping Stephen Notley too busy cartooning to “plot” is a good thing.
Ornery Boy was always good for a laugh, a chuckle, a guffaw… and then Michael Lalonde went and started adding zombies to the cast. We have a saying around these parts: “More zombies = more better.” Actually, I think I just made that up… so, yeah.
Finally, a little treat (admittedly an aquired taste) just for the hardcore; The more traditional long-form comic-book uber-geek fans (and I know you’re out there). Despite it’s glacial pacing Under Power eventually pays big dividends for the investment with some great art, a cool setting, a lot of anger, and more cussing than just about anywhere on the ‘net. It’s kind of like an Elimnators-esque blend of comic genre conventions… with tourettes syndrome. That’s not to imply it sucks like Eliminators though, I’m just making a point.
Speaking of such cinema-gold, my favourite mandroid Jason should have a few words for you all next Tuesday, no doubt inspiring words which will change the course of your lives as you know them! Now you wouldn’t want to miss that, would you?
“24″ ain’t got nothing on us.
January 6, 2004
Okay, now that I’ve got my insecurities off my chest, it’s time for a true look into what goes on behind the scenes of Dead End Days.
It’s hard to give a summary of how this whole thing works, because there is very little pattern from one episode to the next. Over the next year, I hope I can give you some idea of the full workings of our small but fierce group, but that will take some time. The best place to start, it seems to me, is with the shooting process itself. At this point, we have had a total of three shooting sessions. All of these have been strange experiences in their own way, but the oddest by far was the last, in which we shot episodes five through eight in the span of twenty-four hours. I’ll begin my story there.
The odd hours were a matter of necessity. Within episodes 5-8, we found ourselves in an apartment, a video store, a cramped car, and a movie theatre. Calling in favour after favour, and using Chad Thompson’s amazing ability to get anything under the sun for free, we managed to secure our locations. But using real places of business meant that we had to sneak in during the hours they were closed. For the video store, that meant midnight to 3:00 am on a Saturday night, and for the theatre it was 9:00 am to 1:00 pm Sunday. We decided to do away with sleep altogether, and booked the remaining two episodes for Saturday afternoon, and Sunday morning in the wee hours between four and seven.
For some reason that I still can’t quite grasp, our cast and crew agreed to this ludicrous schedule, and so it was set. At noon on Saturday, we began arriving at our first location. And I prepared myself for the humiliation of a lifetime. I won’t linger on it, but by the end of the four hours, I had been scalded, sprayed repeatedly with frozen water, and mangled with a dull razor. (The last was my own doing.) Watch episode six, and all of this will make sense.
The first episode of a shoot always seems to be the roughest. We come in from other jobs, too little sleep, or just the general mess of life. Needless to say, we are not on top of our game. This one went surprisingly well. We had a couple extra members of the cast and crew on hand to help decorate the set, which meant that for once we started the camera rolling on time, and we finished within the four hour schedule very nicely.
Now, I play up how busy our schedule was, but for Matt it was even worse. We had a gap between the first shoot and the second in which everyone got to go home. Myself, Brad, and our forums moderator Rob actually got to go out and find ourselves something to eat once we’d completed a few last minute jobs. Matt, however, had to commute out to Hamilton for another show, with the Imponderables. (A very funny comedy troupe - keep an eye out for them on the Second City stage soon!) Yet somehow, even with the commute, he managed to beat everyone to our next location.
The video store we used is an awesome little place called Marlee Video, at Viewmount and Marlee Avenues, in North York. [Editors Note: Great local video store with some interesting 'off the beaten track' titles you won't find at a Blockbuster or Rogers... check them out!] We had three hours to decorate the place like it was Halloween night, make sure the cast was fighting fit, and shoot the scene from as many angles as we could. Despite starting a few minutes late, we pulled the whole thing off by 2:30, and were out the door well before 3:00.
Once we had cleaned everything up, we drove across the city, back to the Dead End Days office, (also known as Eric’s apartment), to set up for shooting episode eight which, I will reveal to you, takes place in the confines of a very small automobile. (Norman Jewison, the acclaimed director, has in fact dubbed the vehicle a “shrunken baby car” - I’m not kidding.) Beyond that, it was December, and the temperature was less than accommodating. Matt and Brooke suffered through with their woefully thin costumes, and didn’t complain once. Not to mention Brad, who was outside with the camera for three hours without a chance to warm up. I, lying discreetly in the back seat with a microphone, was the luckiest of us all, being inside the vehicle and bundled up thoroughly.
The performances were impeccable, right off the top. (It’s true - after all, I didn’t perform in this one) What gave us trouble was the lighting. With money, this shoot would have been set up with portable lighting kits. And maybe even on a sound stage. Ours was done in a small parking lot, with very long extension cords running from inside the apartment. Luckily, Brad had encountered this problem before, and had designed a clever trick to light inside the car. You’ll see the results on the episode.
Once this was done, Chad and I became teamsters for the next few hours. Jon Senecal, the actor who plays Bentley, was imported from Hamilton, and for the next episode we were bringing in Dean Rideout from Brantford. We dropped of Jon and promptly got lost. An hour and many wrong turns later, we arrived at the rendezvous and started back to Toronto with Dean.
Meanwhile, the theatre was being prepped by the rest of the crew, and they were all getting worried about our lateness. It wasn’t until we were five minutes away from them that they managed to get a hold of us on our unreliable cell phone, and by then they were fairly certain that we had either crashed and died in a horrible fireball, or decided we liked Brantford much more than Toronto, and were going to stay there indefinitely.
Once we were there, the shoot got underway quickly. Dean was rushed into costume and make-up, the camera was set, blinds were thrown over the front doors of the theatre, and the last shoot of the day began. [Editors Note: You all did check out the results in Episode 05 didn't you?]
Given the fact that we had all been awake for over twenty-four hours, everyone was remarkably aware. In the car, I had almost nodded off myself, but as soon as we were there, shooting, the adrenaline woke me up again. Blocking was set, camera and microphone were prepared, and everything else seemed to fall into place. (Except for one minor snafu, in which our camera refused to stop filming. We now have an excellent library of ‘confused film makers’ footage.) Matt, between being very funny on camera, guided us through every shot we would need to capture. Brad kept his eye on the frame and lighting, and once again I hid myself with the microphone. (I did a lot of lurking just off frame for this batch. It was fun) We finished five minutes before the theatre opened, trying desperately to stay out of the way of the cleaners. Once we had packed up, Brad headed out with Dean to Brantford, and the rest of the gang went out for a celebratory round of pancakes, which we promptly fell asleep in.
From that point, I don’t remember much. All I know is my alarm went off the next morning at 6:00, and I headed off to work, still feeling confused about where I was. We went through the footage that night, and everything looked absolutely great. There was no way to tell we hadn’t slept for thirty hours by the last shot. (Though I sounded pretty beleaguered when I was calling action.)
And that, in vastly edited form, is the process of a Dead End Days shoot. Between now and the next time you hear from me, I’ll be collecting anecdotes and profiling the enigmatic Brad, the voice of our website, to try and get a glimpse into his viewpoint on this madness we call independent film. Until then, enjoy what our sleep-starved brains cooked up for you. Oh, and I believe while I wasn’t looking a couple of holidays went by, so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Peace and zombies to you all.
Welcome to the future!
January 2, 2004
Happy New Year! And to make sure you all get off to a great start… here’s a great new episode to start 2K4 off on the right foot! I hope you like it, we baked it especially for you.
Many of the Dead End Days regulars have been holiday-ing with family abroad… and myself and erstwhile forums moderator Firefox were digging through old closets this evening looking through the computer game boxes from the days of yore. Now the latest console titles make it hard for me to stick to my new years resolution of “only buying used games when I have the time to play them” because I love the promise of a new electronic diversion as much as (more than) the next guy (almost anyone). However, going through some of the titles from Christmas’ past, I have to admit none quite can compare to the pure joy of getting a new game when I was younger.
Police Quest, Quest for Glory, Sim City, Wing Commander, Space Quest, Jet, Privateer, Under a Killing Moon, Star Control II, Sam and Max Hit The Road… these were the games that I remember waiting years for - drooling over what sparse information was available in game magazines, or the rare demo available after a multi-day download from a 2400 baud BBS’… tying up phone lines and earning my parents ire (my father was a firm believer that the only use for Modems was to trade pornography and commit illegal acts of “hacking”… of course neither was really practical until the invention of the new-fangled Internet, a much better mechanism for both pursuits). You’ll note a number of so called “adventure” titles among my very short list… the text parser was my very dear friend up until the perfection of the icon-interace in the heyday of mid-90’s LucasArts games ( I still believe Grim Fandango was the crown atop a golden age of the genre that has sadly since fallen into disrepair (allthough I’ve never given up hope for the future).
The point of this not-zombie related post is to share with you the nostalgic childhood joy of a new text parser game. Firefox shared such a moment of bliss with me today when he gave me the holiday gift of a link to:
Pick Up The Phone Booth And Die. Perfect for whiling away a few holiday moments of retro-bliss… I’ll even give you a hint: Don’t pick up the phone booth.
To summarize: Episode 5 is really good.
Shane (unanimously voted “most likely to appear as a Tiger Beat posterboy) will be back on Tuesday with another production journal… and I’m relatively certain it will have nothing to do with old computer games.
